Originally published September 25, 2014

On this day four years ago, I called my dear Mom in Ontario to tell her I was coming to Toronto to visit with her.

Ma was in the hospital again, after suffering a second stroke.

Although she seemed happy to hear that I was coming, she also sounded exhausted.

I had not seen my mother in over a year because I was recovering from my stage 3 throat/tongue cancer treatments.

I hadn’t told Ma or my family that I had cancer, because her health was feeble and the worry would have been too much for her weak heart.

I really missed her, and I was finally going to see her again.

That night when I went to bed, I could hardly get to sleep because my heart was beaming with excitement!

Six hours later, the phone rang, waking me up. It was 3:00 AM here in Vancouver.

It was Leslie, one of my older sisters, who rarely calls. 

‘Something must be wrong for her to call me,’ I thought as I answered the phone.

Mom just passed away. ~ Leslie

My phone suddenly dropped to the floor, and I began crying.

I would have given anything to have been able to hug and kiss her one last time.

That is why the sky has cried every day since learning of Ma’s passing.

These are some pictures of Ma, and each opens a new floodgate of memories and tears.

I flew from Vancouver to Toronto to attend Ma’s funeral in Oshawa.

Seeing her in the casket broke my heart.

Although I wasn’t able to attend the burial a few weeks later, I sent a poem to Linda, my older sister, and asked that it be read as they buried her ashes beside Dad.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator,
and I wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw you feed a stray cat,
and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw you make my favorite cake for me,
and I knew that little things are special things.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I heard you say a prayer,
and I believed that there was a God to talk to.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I felt you kiss me goodnight,
and I felt loved.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw tears come from your eyes,
and I learned that sometimes things hurt,
but it’s alright to cry.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw that you cared,
and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I looked….
and I wanted to say thanks for all the things
I saw when you thought I wasn’t looking.

Author: Mary Rita Schilke Sill 1980

My mother was the greatest love I have ever had. And so was her mom, my Grandma Puffer.

I am comforted that Dad was waiting for her at the pearly gates. He always called her Beau (pronounced as Bo).

They are both in my heart forever and ever.

If your mother is still alive, please call her today and tell her how much you love her.

Better still, visit her often, always hug her, and tell her why you love her so much as you hug her.

That way, your mom’s last memory of you will be of you looking into her eyes while you hugged her, and of what you told her in that embrace.

She was the first thing you saw when you were born, and hopefully, you’ll be the last thing she sees before closing her eyes forever.

If your mom is in a coma, she can still hear and understand everything you say to her.

But don’t say goodbye because goodbyes are so final.

Instead, let her remember your last words, “I love you, Mom,” as you give her one last kiss.

Never give up on your dreams.

Dedicated to my dear Ma and your Mom.

I hope my stories are a gift to your head and heart.

Hugs,

Danny

Today’s tune from Danny’s library (purchased):

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I’ll be forever thankful, baby
You’re the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You’re the one who saw me through, through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn’t speak
You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach
You gave me faith ’cause you believed
I’m everything I am
Because you loved me
Ooh, baby

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand, I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me, and I stood tall
I had your love, I had it all
I’m grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don’t know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak (You were my strength)
You were my voice when I couldn’t speak
You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach
You gave me faith ’cause you believed
I’m everything I am
Because you loved me (Loved me), oh

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark, shining your love into my life
You’ve been my inspiration
Through the lies, you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak (You were my strength)
You were my voice when I couldn’t speak (Oh, when I couldn’t speak)
You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach (Oh)
You gave me faith ’cause you believed
I’m everything I am
Because you loved me (Hey)
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn’t speak (My voice)
You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach (Oh)
You gave me faith ’cause you believed (Believed)
I’m everything I am
Because you loved me
Oh

I’m everything I am
Because you loved me

Songwriters: Diane Warren