I missed celebrating Mother’s Day last week because it is so sad now – because my Ma died six hours after I called her to tell her I was coming to Toronto to visit her. 

And although that was September 26, 2010, my heart still aches and misses her more than words can ever describe.

It had been almost a year since my cancer treatments, and I was finally well enough to travel to Ontario to see her.

I hadn’t told her or my brothers and sisters that I had cancer because Ma had a bad heart, and the news would have killed her. 

And I couldn’t trust my five siblings to keep my illness a secret.

Besides, I was only given a forty percent chance of surviving cancer.

But a very selfish part of me wanted the familiar hug she used to give me when I was hurt or hurting.  Her hugs were also accompanied by words of encouragement.

I wish I didn’t live so far away from my hometown in Oshawa because I would visit her grave every week.

So many regrets.

But a few years ago, my cousin Patty sent me some photos that included one of Ma I had never seen before.

I’ve only seen pictures of my mom when she married my dad. 

It was their wedding photo – hanging on their bedroom wall that I remember. 

They both seemed to be so young.

I sent my buddy Court Brooker a PDF copy of Ma’s picture.

I’ve known Court for thirty years, and I remember meeting his mom at his fiftieth birthday in Winnipeg many years ago (Court is a year older than me).

Court converted the PDF file to a JPEG file for me and removed most scratches and spots. 

When he sent it back to me, I was thrilled. 

Nobody understands computers or photography like my buddy Court, and I love him like a brother.

Here’s my Ma – when she was a single gal.

Moms are like children. 

You always believe your mom is the most beautiful and loving mom on the planet – and I still do!

A few months after my cancer treatments had ended in 2010, I found a poem about Mothers online.

I wrote a letter to my Ma and told her that although I didn’t write the poem myself, it captured how I felt about her. 

I remember her calling me when she got my letter in the mail and telling me that it made her cry (tears of joy).

So, although my dear mom is no longer here – maybe, you are still fortunate enough to have yours.

If so, why not send her a handwritten note with the following poem:

When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking

When you thought I wasn’t looking… I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator and I wanted to paint another.

When you thought I wasn’t looking… I saw you feed a stray cat and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn’t looking… I saw you make my favorite cake for me and I knew that little things are special things.

When you thought I wasn’t looking… I heard you say a prayer and I believed that there was a God to talk to.

When you thought I wasn’t looking… I felt you kiss me goodnight and I felt loved.

When you thought I wasn’t looking… I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt but it’s alright to cry.

When you thought I wasn’t looking… I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn’t looking… And I wanted to say thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn’t looking.

Author unknown

Dedicated to my Ma.

I hope my stories are a gift to your head and heart.

Hugs,

Danny

Today’s tune from Danny’s library (purchased):

The lightning express from the depot so grand
Had started out on its way
All of the passengers that were on board
Seemed to be happy and gay

But one little boy who sat by himself
Was reading a letter he had
You could plainly tell by the look on his face
That the contents of it made him sad

The stern old conductor then started his round
Taking tickets from everyone there
And finally reaching the sad little boy
He gruffly demanded his fare

“I have no ticket,” the boy then replied
“But I’ll pay you back someday.”

“Then I’ll put you off at the next stop we make.”
But he stopped when he heard the boy say:

“Please, Mr. Conductor
Don’t put me off of this train
The best friend I have in this world, sir
Is waiting for me in pain
Expecting to die any moment, sir
And may not live through the day
I wanna reach home and kiss mother goodbye
Before God takes her away.”

A girl sitting near was heard to exclaim
“If you put him off, it’s a shame.”
Taking his hand, a collection she made
The boy’s way was paid on the train

“I’m obliged to you, Miss, for your kindness to me.”

“You’re welcome,” she said, “never fear.”

Each time the conductor would pass through the car
The boy’s words would ring in his ear:

“Please, Mr. Conductor
Don’t put me off of this train
The best friend I have in this world, sir
Is waiting for me in pain
Expecting to die any moment, sir
And may not live through the day
I wanna reach home and kiss mother goodbye
Before God takes her away.”

Songwriters: B. Kincaid
Lightning Express lyrics © Peer International Corporation

Here’s a link to songs Danny is listening to now: Drowning in a Tub Full of Tunes