During the past several months, I have debated with an aging mind and ailing heart to determine when it’s okay to surrender a lifelong dream.

However, it does not appear that I can write a fairy tale ending to one of my longest-held beliefs: Never Give Up!

Little Danny struggled to overcome the obstacles and challenges of attaining dreams and goals in life, and he often gazed into the darkness of night to make a wish upon a star.

My dear Ma taught me this ancient nursery rhyme that her Mom taught her:

Star light, star bright,

First star I see tonight;

I wish I may, I wish I might

Have the wish I wish tonight

Author unknown

Although I am not as superstitious as Grandma Puffer and my Mom, the stars I chose were always the brightest in the night sky.

I always closed my eyes when I made a wish, just as I was taught to do when praying.

Sometimes, I hummed the famous Perry Como song, ‘Catch a Falling Star,’ because I had never learned the lyrics.

Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket
Never let it fade away
Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket
Save it for a rainy day

For love may come and tap you on the shoulder some starless night
Just in case you feel you want to hold her
You’ll have a pocketful of starlight

Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket
Never let it fade away
Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket
Save it for a rainy day

For love may come and tap you on the shoulder some starless night
And just in case you feel you want to hold her
You’ll have a pocketful of starlight
(Pocketful of starlight, hm, hm, hm, hm, hm, hm)

Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket
Never let it fade away
Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket
Save it for a rainy day

(Save it for a rainy, save it for a rainy, rainy, rainy, day)

For when your troubles start multiplying and they just might
It’s easy to forget them without trying
With just a pocketful of starlight

Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket
Never let it fade away
Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket
Save it for a rainy day

Save it for a rainy day!

Songwriters: Paul Vance & Lee Pockriss

Danny, when did you ever listen to a song by Perry Como?

Spanky

Well, Spanky, I first heard the song when you were just a sparkle in your Dad’s eyes! Why don’t you learn the song and teach it to your children?

Now, where was I… Oh, yeah, it was about stars and dreams. My memory is full of cobwebs these days.

Stargazing is much more difficult when viewed from a town or city, with all their ‘lights’ obscuring most of the stars and some of the planets.

However, if you view the night sky from the countryside, the amount of stars and planets viewed increases dramatically.

During my cancer treatments in 2009, I only had a 40% chance of surviving, but I never got an opportunity to stargaze from my bed in the hospital or at home.

On the day I was fighting for my life – I could only gaze at the outside world during the daytime, and this is what I saw:

That is a reflection of light on the window. It did not provide any inspiration.

As I often explain, I never pray for myself – only for others.

I once mentioned in a story that one of those ‘others’ was a patient in the bed beside mine.

She had only been given three weeks to live and was pleading with the oncologist to be sent home so she could die in her own bed with her cat beside her when she passed.

Later that day or the next, when her family had come to take her home, she came to my bed, held my hand, and told me to Never Give Up!

I promised her I would not give up. I cried when she left, even though I had known her for only two days.

Several months ago, I attempted to stargaze from the rooftop of my apartment building, but the brightest star I saw turned out to be a light on top of a nearby crane.

In recent days, my health has had some setbacks, and I want to end one of my lifelong dreams to free my heart’s burden. But that dream remains a secret and will go to the grave with me.

Another dream was to live forever – which has also burdened my spirit. We all are going to die, and I have been fortunate to live another 15 years from the date of my cancer diagnosis.

I recently visited Donna Mitchell, one of two nurses at the cancer center I adopted. The other is Lisa Marie Riley, whom I also visited later that day.

When I confided to Donna about the recent decline in my health and how I felt it might be time to finally give up and let nature run its course.

She nodded that she understood and wished her father would do the same.

He has been in the hospital terminally ill and in terrible shape, but his body won’t give up to free him from all of his suffering.

I felt guilty and selfish for mentioning my problem to her when she was going through so much herself.

My Grandma Puffer used to remind me of her favorite saying: “I had no shoes and complained until I met a person who had no feet!” (Author unknown).

We hugged, and I told her I loved her, as I always do when we see each other. I left and waved goodbye.

I cried while driving home.

Later that afternoon, I dropped by Lisa’s house with Annette and brought Buddy to meet her.

She came to the car because she also has a dog and knows Buddy doesn’t like other animals, nor does her dog.

I usually take Donna and Lisa some Ginger Snap cookies from Trader Joe’s in Bellingham after I get gas at Costco.

Everyone seems to love those cookies, and I usually have a supply in the pantry.

Last week, after seeing my buddy Norman, I went to Trader Joe’s to purchase more tubs of cookies, but they are temporarily out of stock because of a problem with the production or distribution from their supplier.

A store clerk said they hoped the cookies would return to their shelves soon.

Back to the story…

I had been seriously considering giving up my membership with the Vancouver Venturers Walking Club because I knew I would never be healthy enough to walk the 5- or 10-kilometer option.

I didn’t want to do it in a letter to the club or on social media, so I decided to attend the Annual General Meeting (AGM) on Saturday, March 9th, and tell my many friends I would be leaving the club.

At first, I considered remaining a club member and seeing the club members at the start of each walk.

We always have a 30-minute pre-walk social period before the start of each walk.

After the walk, there is also lunch at a nearby restaurant, but I haven’t been able to eat solid food for many years, so I haven’t attended many of the lunches.

Yesterday, I mentioned on Facebook that I had strained my back playing with Buddy and would probably not be well enough to attend the AGM.

But I assured everyone I planned to remain a club member until the end of time.

Today at 3:00 AM, I decided not to remain with the club when my current membership expires this year.

I have written this story with tears dripping on my laptop.

I am also crying for the lifelong dream I am taking to the grave with me. The person in the dream shall remain a secret forever.

I will remain in touch with my friends at the club, though, because friends are forever, and I have never given up a friendship with a true friend—only people who betray or hurt me.

But I always forgive them in my heart – because I love everyone. I no longer choose to associate with them.

When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.

Maya Angelou

I will never hate anyone because hate is a toxin that is harmful to your soul and spirit.

The opposite of LOVE is not Hate – it’s FEAR.

And who knows – maybe there’s a miracle in one of the billions of stars in the Universe that I have not gazed at yet.

I plan to continue stargazing, so stop rolling your eyes at me, Spanky!

Dedicated to the Vancouver Venturers and all my friends and readers.

I hope my stories are a gift to your head and heart.

Hugs,

Danny

Today’s tune from Danny’s library (purchased):

Sweet is the song, when the song is love
Love that has stood the test of time
And when you’ve heard all the songs of love
Will you remember mine?

Gone are the times when I held you close
And pressed your lips to mine
And now, when you kiss another’s lips
Will you remember mine?

I have sat ‘neath the trees while the cool summer breeze
Blew away the sands of time
And thought of days when you were near
Remembering when you were mine

Gone are the times that I walked with you
And held your hand in mine
And now, when you hold another’s hand
Will you remember mine?

[Instrumental]

Gone are the times that I walked with you
And held your hand in mine
Now, when you hold another’s hand
Will you remember mine?
Now, when you hold another’s hand
Will you remember mine?

Songwriters: Willie Nelson

Here’s what songs Danny is listening to now: Drowning in a Tub Full of Tunes