Last week, I had an appointment with my optician at Royal London Optical for an eye problem.

During the night, I sometimes wake up, and my right eye remains partially closed with blurred vision.

I also have difficulty reading the small print on products’ ingredients lists or directions for use.

I wear one pair of glasses for reading and another pair for distance. My distance pair also has shaded lenses, so they double as sunglasses.

I’ve tried progressive lenses but had difficulty getting used to them.

Although I am a returning customer, I was worried that Dr. Bains and her staff would not be able to understand my voice.

My voice is almost incoherent; I now have to write down my questions and answers when communicating with people.

I cannot use the phone for incoming or outgoing calls. I rely on text or chat messages to communicate with people.

After completing the initial tests with a staff member, I was taken to the examining room.

As I sat in the chair, Dr. Bains came into the room and apologized for being a minute or two late.

Her washing machine broke down, and she had a few loads of laundry, especially her children’s clothing, that needed to be washed.

I smiled and told her not to worry. After all, she is human like the rest of us.

Before starting the examination, she asked me a few questions, and we chatted for a long time about world events.

Although I will keep our conversation private, I gained much from the doctor’s perspective, which I found insightful and refreshing.

However, I thought I would add a bit of humor to avoid the stress of even thinking about the chaos in the world these days.

If you are a baby boomer like me, you’ll probably remember the ads for X-Ray glasses on the inside back page of most comic books.

Here’s a photo of the usual ad:

My attempt at humor was not successful. The good doctor gave me a bit of a puzzled look/frown, and I felt embarrassed.

My eye exam was good—my prescription for glasses had not changed. However, the doctor prescribed eye drops and gave me a daily routine to treat my ‘dry eyes.’

Royal London Optical Boutique is the best optical store I have ever seen. I sincerely recommend Dr. Bains, who is undoubtedly the best eye doctor I’ve ever experienced in the forty years of wearing glasses.

The store’s selection of eyewear is impressive, and so is the pricing.

Tell them that Danny recommended you, okay?

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By the way, getting back to the X-ray glasses…

I never ordered a pair because I would have had to explain it to my parents.

Entering puberty was difficult enough without adding to my frustration of wondering what a woman’s hidden body parts looked like.

Despite my Mom scolding my Dad for not talking to me about the birds and bees, I did not want to hear about them from her.

After all, that’s what buddies are for.

So, Danny, how did you learn about the facts of life? ~ Spanky

Well, Spanky, I learned from my 8th Oshawa Sea Scouts Troop’s paper drives and the Camp Samac Swimming Pool change room in my hometown, Oshawa, Ontario.

My Sea Scout Troop would have paper drives to collect people’s newspapers and magazines, which the residents would leave on the curbside of their homes.

We would walk down both sides of the street and put the bundles of newspapers in the back of a 5-ton truck.

One such house included several Playboy magazines, and that was my first glimpse of a woman’s naked body. However, none of us would dare take the magazine(s) home. We had to rely on the Sears or Eaton catalogs stored in the family bathroom as reading material.

Later in the day, when we finished, the truck would go to a place where it was all weighed, and our troop got paid.

Camp Samac Swimming Pool

The changing room revealed that older boys had hair in the private area, whereas I was bald. It bothered me because I was too shy to ask them when they got the hair in that area.

My longtime readers will recall a story I once wrote about Public and Pubic Hair. I will search for it among the 400 stories in my library and provide a link.

Anyway, I’ve been writing all this because I feel stressed by the bloodwork, ECG, and X-rays I must do between December 23rd & 27th.

However, when I tried to book an appointment at Peach Arch Hospital, they said they were completely booked during that period.

They suggested I go to the hospital as a ‘walk-in.’

So, on Monday, December 23rd, I plan to be at the hospital at 8:00 AM and stay there until I complete the three tests.

If I am unsuccessful, I will try again each day until I complete the tests.

The memorandum they sent me instructed me not to go to private facilities to complete the test – it had to be at the hospital.

In closing,

I am planning to attend the start of the Vancouver Venturers’ scheduled walk in Richmond on Saturday at 9:30 a.m.

However, I will only stay for the 30-minute pre-walk social period before each walk.

I have only seen three friends in the last month, who were my two adopted daughters, Lisa Marie and Donna, who are nurses at the cancer center where I was treated in 2009. We’ve remained close ever since – so I adopted them in my heart.

The third person I saw was Sannie, my adopted granddaughter, whom I have been close to since 2014 – we volunteered at the cancer center.

After I finished writing this rant, I rewarded myself by pouring a glass of vodka and root beer (yummy).

I feel better now and have Buddy Holly beside me in bed.

Goodnight. Pleasant dreams.

Maybe we’ll see you at the walk tomorrow.

Dedicated to Dr. Bains, Lisa Marie, Sannie, & Donna.

I hope my stories are a gift to your head and heart.

Hugs,

Danny

Today’s tune from Danny’s library (purchased):

You stare in the mirror at the lines in your face
And you try so hard to see, girl
The way things were when we were at your place
Every day was just you and me, girl
And you cry because things ain’t like before
Well, don’t you know it can’t be that way anymore
But don’t worry, baby

I can’t talk now; I’m not alone
So, put your ear close to the phone
‘Cause this is the last dance
The last chance for hearts of stone.

If there were something, baby, that I could do
Something that would last, honey, I would
But you should know better than to think that you
Can return to the past
So, close your eyes, and I’ll be there
Hold you once more, not go anywhere
I wish I could, babe

But I can’t talk now; I’m not alone
So, put your ear close to the phone
‘Cause this is the last dance
The last chance for hearts of stone.

[Instrumental]

Well, you cry because things get so strange so fast
And you cry because nothing good ever lasts
Well, I know babe
Yes, I know, babe

But I can’t talk now; I’m not alone
So, put your ear close to the phone
‘Cause this is the last dance
The last chance for hearts of stone.

This is the last dance
The last chance for hearts of stone.

Songwriters: Bruce Springsteen

Here’s what Danny is listening to now: These Songs Will Make You Smile Today.