Originally published August 1, 2014

Several weeks ago, I noticed a ‘wart’ on my fingers. It reminded me of my Grandma Puffer and her surprise cure.

The wart was tiny – about the size of a pinhead – and certainly nothing to worry about.

It wasn’t painful or itchy, and I’m sure that nobody would ever notice it – but the fact that I had another wart bothered me.

I have only had one other wart: when I was very young, probably 9 or 10 years old.

I remember noticing it one day – it was on my right knee and the size of a dime.

It was pretty scary. The only other person I had ever seen with a wart was the ‘Kitchen Witch’, my mom had hung in the window, directly over the kitchen sink.

My Mom was very superstitious, and the Kitchen Witch was supposed to protect our family from evil spirits, food poisoning, and burnt toast.

It was the first thing Ma gave me when I moved into my first place—a room in the basement of Mrs. Simpson’s home in Oshawa, Ontario.

That was in 1968, and the room had no kitchen – just an electric kettle and a hot plate.

But I guess my Ma felt that I needed protection from other nasty things, and that’s why she insisted that I hang it up over the laundry tubs, which doubled as my wash basin and sink.

Anyway, back to the ‘wart-on-my knee’ story.

When you’re the only kid on the planet with a wart on your body – that everyone can see – and ask you about – and everyone can laugh at you and tease you about – it is embarrassing!

During that summer of the wart, I took swimming lessons every morning at Camp Samac, so I couldn’t hide the wart by always wearing pants.

Although I had not reached the ‘interested-in-girls’ stage yet, I was sensitive to the fact that people would always stare at my knee while talking to me.

I am sure it is similar to how girls with large boobs feel when they try to make eye-to-eye contact with boys (it’s impossible!).

However, those girls with big boobs never noticed where my eyes were focused when talking to them because they were always staring at the wart on my knee.

Some would even point at it and giggle (at the wart, Spanky, the wart!).

In those days, you did not go to the doctor unless you were sick  – and having a wart on your knee didn’t qualify as a sickness.

Besides, if the Kitchen Witch hanging in our kitchen could not protect me from the evil spirit that gave me the wart, what good would a doctor be?

I had that wart on my knee for months and regularly picked at it, making it even more unsightly.

I had almost given up hope on ever getting rid of the wart until the day my Grandma Puffer came to our house for a visit.

I was very close to her and valued her wisdom.  But she, too, was very superstitious and the source of my Ma’s superstitions.

So, when she saw the wart on my knee, she did not hesitate to explain a sure-fire cure.

While hugging me, she put her arm around me and told me to fetch a potato and a knife from the kitchen.

I quickly ran to the kitchen, glanced at the Kitchen Witch and smiled – because nothing could match the power of my Grandma Puffer – and returned with a large potato and knife.

Grandma instructed me to cut the potato in half, then take half and rub it on the wart.

I began to rub the wart, and after a few minutes, my Grandma told me to go to the backyard, bury half of the potato, and put the remaining half in the fridge.

She also explained that I should never look at or think about the wart again.

But grandma, when will the wart go away? ~ Little Danny

The wart will be gone when the potato you buried in the garden becomes a potato plant.  Later, when the plant has grown its potato(s), you should dig up one of the potatoes and check to see if you still have the wart on your knee. ~ Grandma Puffer

As a little boy, I was inquisitive and asked many questions, including where her cure came from.

But Grandma didn’t answer—she just stared into my eyes and smiled.

Well, I remember that the 1/2 potato did grow and become a plant.

I remember my Ma telling me when to dig up the potato.

And I remember looking at my knee and finding, to my surprise, that the wart was gone!

So, today I will go to the market to buy a potato.

Maybe I’ll take my Kitchen Window Witch along for the ride.

Dedicated to Grandma Puffer

I hope my stories are a gift to your head and heart.

Hugs,

Danny

Today’s tune from Danny’s library (purchased):

Very superstitious
Writing’s on the wall
Very superstitious
Ladder’s ’bout to fall
Thirteen-month-old baby
Broke the looking glass
Seven years of bad luck
The good things in your past

When you believe in things
That you don’t understand
Then you suffer
Superstition ain’t the way, yeah

Ooh, very superstitious
Wash your face and hands
Rid me of the problem
Do all that you can
Keep me in a daydream
Keep me going strong
You don’t want to save me
Sad is my song

When you believe in things
That you don’t understand
Then you suffer
Superstition ain’t the way, yeah

Very superstitious
Nothing more to say
Very superstitious
The devil’s on his way
Thirteen-month-old baby
Broke the looking glass
Seven years of bad luck
Good things in your past

When you believe in things
That you don’t understand
Then you suffer
Superstition ain’t the way
No, no, no

Songwriters: Stevie Wonder

Here are other songs I’m listening to: These Songs Will Make You Smile Today.